It’s been 5 or 6 years since anyone I’ve ever called a friend has read this blog. At first it was my way of sharing information with people during treatment but it later became where I’d write through things with abject vulnerability and I did not want it to be associated with me and wanted to remain anonymous. Over the years people recently diagnosed would find me, typically by searching for cosmetic procedures during chemo. I’m happy it’s been a resource for so many, however outside of cancer content the rest of this blog has never had any actual engagement.
However the other day a friend said to take it down. That my cancer blog was “not a good look” – A phrase used to insult someone when you’re unable to articulate an actual critique with substance. A big pet peeve of mine.
I was initially very confused considering the individual texting me had not read anything here in 5-6 years and had no clue any of this blog was still up and running. Why would they suddenly care about my cancer and emotional writing blog?
Puzzled, I dusted off the good old g4 analytics and it became crystal clear.
Oh. I see. We have an iPhone 15 pro in Seattle that updates their iOS in a rather timely fashion. At first I assumed this was me until I remembered I beta tested ios18. A Samsung galaxy that is by FAR my biggest fan. A rather high number of hits from a MacBook that wishes you’d upgrade from Catalina. Someone galavanting through the west side of the California sierras and San Jose. Must be lovely at this time of the year! An iOS user in Issaquah who clicks the links they’re sent but then just kinda “meh” and logs off. An iPhone 13 mini- you’re really behind with their iOS updates fyi. Some “overseas” hits from a VPN by someone who forgot to change their browser language from NAMER English. Amateur move.
What did they all have in common? Could I find a pattern? After all, I do live laugh love data. I had intentionally stopped google from indexing this part of the website so it wasn’t organic. Aha. The landing page and referral. All of these readers were the only hits to this aspect of my blog and they did not arrive in a normal way.
It appears first they searched WordPress not remembering the url of my old cancer blog. First they shared it with the WordPress url like perhaps I haven’t owned the domain since 2018. It went slow at first and then ramped to epic proportions over the last week. My 20 pages of rambling, bad grammar and broken links that I had thought was my private space just went cross country viral.
What I do know is that data can to pinpoint how and where this is being shared. It easy to see how the posts are being picked and chosen to create the narrative of the person sending them. Do me a favor and start at the top before you offer an opinion. However maybe wait until I fishing writing and formatting and spell checking?
I also know that someone went digging very very hard to find this. I did not send it to anyone and consider it pretty rough draft. However someone went digging. Someone wanted to validate their itch to make drama where there was none and then felt entitled enough to share it far and wide. Why? I don’t know. Personally I’d be mortified to share this if I was the subject, let alone to try to involve people who are long sick of it.
Like I said, I’m not out here deep crawling the internet to see if she has written down her feelings anywhere because that is a level of care I don’t have. If I happened to stumbled upon it, I’d roll my eyes and close the browser. I am allowed to share my side of the story and I opted to do it off social media and in a place where I am anonymous.
You know exactly who you are. So do I. Your actions, behavior and the choice to involve anyone and everyone say a lot about you as a person. I hope you eventually find growth and happiness in your life but in the meanwhile I’m sure you can just blame it on your mercury in retrograde or your moon in mars. Can crystals fix your personality?
In the meantime might I suggest you focus your energy on something -anything- other than spending your time and energy deep stalking me to fuel your hatred because frankly my dear, I don’t give a fuck. There are many better uses of your time and literal bandwidth.
Hopefully this gives the gossip brigade pause. Hopefully they realize how much time is being spent here hate reading an anonymous blog. (Spoiler – it’s a lot!) I hope they see how they’re just building their personal brand around negativity and being a mean girl.
It’s not going to get you far in life.
I suggest you try yoga instead.
Death to Uncle Joey 
Hi Rhi! Figured I’d chime in since we’re on an intermission. I’m not sure about your analytics but I know I’ve been a devoted visitor to your blog over the last few weeks. Definitely have sent out the link to a bunch of people too. Everyone is fascinated! I’d say “not a good look” is certainly the general consensus (kudos to your friend for having your back!). “Racist” and “toxic” and “embarrassing” have also been regular feedback. My personal favorite though is “Slander, Libel, and Defamation”. That’s from our lawyer who has been absolutely loving this consistent stream of screenshots we’ve been supplying. I’d say you’ll probably hear from them fairly soon if we continue seeing my wife’s likeliness anywhere on this blog (by the way, you missed a few spots on the screenshots…might want to get those cleaned up). Anyway, just wanted to say keep up the great work. Certainly been a welcome break from reality. By the way, this is Jason if you haven’t figured that out yet. Have a great day!
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I’m glad to see you find it a good use of your time but I would have assumed you read all this back in 2020 and it’s nothing new to you.
“Everyone is fascinated!” – lol. Did you get that from a trump speak ai generator? Truthfully nobody is fascinated and it just looks childish for you to share links to my anonymous blog.People wish you would stop.
I can’t imagine how much you’d have to pay an attorney to view screenshots! It’s what, about $300 per email they open? I’m happy to hear you have that much spare cash laying around and I’m glad they “love the content” – I mean, of course they love the bill they send you for opening it. You might suggest they go back to law school and look up the definition of “slander, libel and defamation” “truth” “opinion” “Abuse of Process” “Vexatious Litigation” “Frivolous litigation” etc. before they get too excited. In the meanwhile, they are welcome to reach out to me. Can’t wait. Do you need an updated address?
While it was certainly not my intent for this to be viewed and it can be clearly shown via data that it was not found nor accessed without considerable effort. I can also see it’s just being passed around the usual suspects. None of it is new. This is the same information your wife showed everyone in 2020, only without my permission. Thankfully I have her expressed written permission to share with anyone and everyone.
Blurring her image off her public twitter posts is a courtesy I have provided and not a requirement. These are the things she decided to post, with her image and her full name on social media. Again, your lawyer should know this? If I were you I’d be a lot more concerned about the number of reddit threads with her full name and image attached to her potentially career damaging tweets.
Again, this was a rough draft that someone spent time deep diving the internet to find and was not “accidentally discovered’ – before I let google index it all, I will be sure to clean it all up as I always do.
I hope you find some new hobbies and interests instead of stalking me incessantly.
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And thank you Jason Rampe for owning up to your stalking and years of continued harassment in writing. Logged from your device, time stamped with your IP with a written threat attached. You were even kind enough to confirm your name and detail your harassment.
Did your lawyer tell you that was a good idea?
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You’re the only one generating time stamps sweetheart. And thanks for confirming ownership of your “anonymous” blog. Love how you’re so keen to put other people’s full names and photos on it without mentioning who you are. You’re really standing in the light, aren’t you, Rhi?
All my wife tried to do was tell you that she felt unsafe in her friendship with you and that you might have some issues around race. And what you are doing now is proving that she was absolutely correct. She was an impeccable friend to you. No amount of disparaging her on social media will take that away. From what I can tell, you’re still grieving the loss of that friendship. I get it. I would be sad too if I lost her in my life.
It’s disgusting to watch you use a blog that offers resources for women with cancer as a weapon against a woman who helped you through cancer (and beyond).
You’ve lost friends over the last four years? And it’s all her fault? You have no role or control over the things happening in your life? Seems like my wife is to blame for all of the bad things in your life. The reason why you haven’t heard from her since 2020 is because she’s done with you. I suggest you do the same.
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Commentary from “Amy’s husband” below. Again proof of stalking and harassment.
“You’re the only one generating time stamps sweetheart. And thanks for confirming ownership of your “anonymous” blog. Love how you’re so keen to put other people’s full names and photos on it without mentioning who you are. You’re really standing in the light, aren’t you, Rhi?”
—-Incorrect. You run wordpress blogs for a living, right? You know how comment time stamps work. I do not see confirmation of ownership. I’m not even sure what standing in the light means. It’s mostly rain around here. Per google that is a catholic phrase and well, thats not my jam.
“All my wife tried to do was tell you that she felt unsafe in her friendship with you and that you might have some issues around race. And what you are doing now is proving that she was absolutely correct.”
—–Again, incorrect. She failed to hold adult conversation about something small that bothered her from 14 months before and then posted to all mutual friends and a large following calling me a racist, gaslighter, abuser, culture poacher, toxic, a faker, “her most racist friend”, a victim and arrogant on social media PRIOR to any conversation or communication. She then called anyone and everyone to try and get them on board with her witch hunt.
“She was an impeccable friend to you”
—–Trump generator again? There is no such thing as an impeccable person and it certainly doesn’t apply to someone trash talking their friend on social media.
“No amount of disparaging her on social media will take that away”
—-I’ve never disparaged her on social media and this is simply her direct quotes being shared. I have called her zero names nor lobbied any insults. If she feels disparaged by having her words shared, then perhaps she shouldn’t have posted them? Also, this is not social media. It’s a blog that is accessed by exactly zero mutual friends unless she directly shared it with them.
“From what I can tell, you’re still grieving the loss of that friendship. I get it. I would be sad too if I lost her in my life”
—- Not in the least. I still grieve my idiocy by allowing someone in my life who acted in such a childish way.
It’s disgusting to watch you use a blog that offers resources for women with cancer as a weapon against a woman who helped you through cancer (and beyond).
—- Disgust is in the eye of the beholder. I never claimed she or anyone did not help me during cancer and I still don’t understand what her twitter post referencing my 1 year mark meant. Who “abused and shit on” who? What “friends didn’t stick around?” what about my remission post was “racist and arrogant” – any insights?
You’ve lost friends over the last four years? And it’s all her fault?
—- If we count Amelia, it’s two. Both her and the other individual do not live in the same city, share the same hobbies nor the same lifestyle. I’ll survive. Yes, it’s her fault she posted crazy shit about me on social media. No, I don’t blame her for the other person.
You have no role or control over the things happening in your life? Seems like my wife is to blame for all of the bad things in your life.
—-I have all the control over my life. I have annoyance when I have to hear about all the shit she pulled over the years, sure. Thats why I’m writing out the timeline. Thats why I did not share it with a soul because it was just a place for me to put it all in order but you invaded my space, again. I don’t have bad things in my life. I have my absolute dream home. I have a fantastic doggo and lots of friends who share my hobbies, lifestyle and practice transparent adult communication. I adventure all over and I embark on frequent world travel. My cancer has stayed in remission despite the odds. I have shown significant career growth and leveled up repetedly. My child got into one of the most prestigious schools in the city. I do not have drama with anyone in my life.
The reason why you haven’t heard from her since 2020 is because she’s done with you. I suggest you do the same.
—- I believe I was the first to call “done” and I have fully stuck with that. If you decided to deep stalk me on the internet and then share my posts with others, that is really on you. That is the drama you are creating in a place there was none. Maybe take your own advice and stop stalking me. I certainly do not look at your digital footprint, nor hers. I simply don’t care that much.
Calling me “sweetheart” is just unwarranted condescending behavior. I doubt these words are actually coming from you as I don’t recall Trump speak in your lexicon. I don’t see you creating a fake email with the word “simp” but hey, if it actually is you, at least you’re showing people just how much you are her puppet given that you and I have had zero negative interactions until now.
I don’t actually have anything negative to say about you as a person. You’re a nice guy and a great dad to both of your daughters. You brought Amy a bit of stability and I’m glad she has you at the rate she ostracizes people. It’s a shame she orchestrated so much drama within your family. You do know that’s why they didn’t want you to marry her, yeah? It’s not because she’s a “tiger mom” it’s because she has an imbalance she hasn’t addressed. I often feel bad for your mom when I think about how Amy manipulated and deceived her using her grandchild as ammunition.
You’re a smart guy, someday you’re going to realize. Someday you’re going to stop and wonder how it is your whole family is toxic. What S—-n did? What Erin did? the period of time where D—-a was toxic according to her? How she claimed K—-n had no personality of her own? What Justin and Katie did? Over an instagram follow? Really? What your sister did? What your stepdaughter did? Her mom? Every person at BA she wrote about on social media? Me? What the hell I did to deserve endless posts about me on social media instead of a conversation with a friend? How is it that everyone is so toxic? Stop and really think on that one for a minute. With luck you’ll see it someday, while there is still time to repair your relationships and get her the treatment she desperately needs.
I certainly wish she has everything she wants in life and continued success. When my old Twitter account saw she got hired by F&W I remarked how cool that was out loud. I’m not here to inflict harm but I do wish to write my side of the story and process just how fucked up it all was that she posted about me so much and how it impacted my mental health following treatment and quarantine. Absolutely nothing here is a lie. I did not intend for anyone involved to see it. I never once shared a thing on IG or FB and am not trying to dox her here, hence why I have changed her name, edited photos and kept it from indexing on google prior to being cleaned up. I do not wish her any harm and would not ever post this to social or involve mutuals.
Legal threats are meritless and your lawyer should have told you so. Your stalking and harassment and involvement of mutual friends is alarming and unwanted. Please stop.
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Really the mature thing here would have been to email me and say “hey, I stumbled upon your blog and fully respect that you are writing through your experience, but could you please do me a favor and make sure you do a better job at covering Amys Twitter photo and name? I understand it’s not shared anywhere nor indexed on google, but I would feel more comfortable if you did”
I would have replied that it was fully my plan to do so and prioritized it. Like I said, until you sent it around nobody had read it.
Then you could have just stopped. Not sent it around to perpetuate drama. Not replied to showcase your harassment. Not sent baseless legal threats or continued to publicly insult me.
I really hope you can do better going forward.
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I arrived to the vain girls guide to cancer from Colorful Colorado along with my iPhone 15 and have been so grateful for the advice you offer! Unfortunately it was too late for me to avoid getting a chest port but you saved my patchy half eyebrows with Anastasia. This coming Monday will be my 16th and final chemotherapy. Unfortunately I still have surgery, radiation, lots of hormone disruption, and reconstruction to go. Thank you for making me feel like I had a close friend to show me the ropes as I read through your raw and open cancer content.
Sincerely, Kerinne
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hi! I’m so sorry you had to stumble upon the drama aspect of the blog and that you’re dealing with good ol chemo. I’m going to start writing through my awful journey with reconstruction so it’s a resource or just a nightmare scary story 🙂 what chemo did you do? I have a lot of tips on radiation too. Are you on IG? @rhibird for my real life account or @deathtounclejoey (I don’t check it that often) – I’d be more than happy to chat!
-rhi
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I feel like you’re struggling to see what the issue is here. So I’ll put this in very simple terms: as long as we continue to see identifying information such as names, photos, handles, and known nicknames on your public blog, we will continue to be in contact one way or another. Please remove them. It’s a simple ask and, as you put it, the mature thing to do.
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I feel like you’re struggling to see the issue here. The issue is that I have requested multiple times for you and Amelia to stop stalking me. Stop harassing me. Stop contacting me.
This is my final warning.
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