A breast cancer murder plot.
I was recently reminded of myself in 2021. THAT version of me. In my friend Becky’s cancer book she’ll write about the negative woman she met at the wine bar in 2021 and how she hated her. Maybe she didn’t tell her until 2025 but by that time they were getting matching tattoos in Palm […]
Read MoreI met part of my team at work for the first time ever today. We all round-tabled our quarantine experience. I don’t honestly even know where to unpack that aside from “well, I live on Capitol Hill, so you know..” ((helicopter nosies)) I wish I could write it. Not just write it but actually WRITE […]
Read MoreA whole year. A whole year in complete suspension. A year riddled with every level of anxiety imaginable. We covered the city with plywood. We covered the plywood with art. We made joyful noise at 8pm. We felt like part of something. I cried over SAAS acronyms. We ordered take out to support our local […]
Read MoreIt’s a struggle to talk about this – in 2020 it’s a struggle to talk about feeling struggled because the actual police may be en route to being defunded but the woke police are busy issuing tickets and assaulting people for minor infractions. It’s been a very long 3 months. I’ve felt like I’m under […]
Read MoreI sit outside now. Under attack in hidden courtyards tucked behind fire escapes. This is my social life. On the weekends I’m under the trees of the cascades, blanketed by stars, hope and dirty nails. On the weekdays I’m bound to the kitchen and grounded in stress while deciphering saas acronyms and wearing my old […]
Read MoreI keep encountering different scenes when I leave my building. First there were fires but then the books arrived. Left open on my stoop. The dog eared pages immediately reveling themselves. The words speaking to writing, reflections and self awareness. Clearly a sign. This morning it was a half consumed watermelon and white wine bottles […]
Read MoreIt was the first time I’d seen my daughter in a while. Another good ol fashion Seattle grey and dark. Chance of shitshow, extra stormy. I was sun kissed after a week in Mexico. Feeling pretty damn good despite the memories this time of year that kept bubbling into my conscious. Things that still shape […]
Read MoreI don’t mean to cause alarm in any of my postings. I’m ok. Just as I always am. It’s like the amazon reviews right? Only dissatisfied customers bother to type out their grievances. If you’re happy with the purchase you carry on. Keep calm and order on prime. Those of us involved in a creative […]
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Read MoreIt’s strange how I can never predict myself tomorrow. Remember how cable news used to talk about the city when you were a kid? “good block, bad block?” Now in 2020 it’s like a 7 blocks of good blocks, but the subway doors don’t open properly and you’re now one stop away from remembering how […]
Read MoreI originally wrote this a few months ago and then decided it was too negative. If there is one thing I hope to change about myself going forward its the second guessing of myself. Yeah, it sounds negative but that what the whole post is about. Sit with it. I’m seeing it again in quarantine. […]
Read MoreI’ve lived more in the last three years than I ever did in the 40 years prior. I’ve had the rug repeatedly ripped out from under me. All emotional safety nets proved faulty and I’ve been at the bottom of that hole putting myself back together and trying to claw out for longer than feels […]
Read MoreIn late February I sat in Sayulita reading reports on the corona virus. Trying to “relax” -a mindset that is still a foreign concept to me. I was probably cracking a corona and making a joke about how corona virus would be better with a lime. Meanwhile the research focused side of my brain was […]
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Read MoreI make it through very few films. I’m terrible at mentally shutting down long enough to pay attention. I wish I was better about it. Finding space to mentally detach is a goal of mine. Baby steps. However I do love a few select filmmakers and will make exceptions for their art. They’re always the […]
Read MoreI walk outside for fresh air in January. Yet anther hot flash insomnia fit. It’s oddly silent on Capitol Hill. The sounds of the city are dampened by the low hanging fog that’s engulfing the street lights. There’s not a soul around aside from this damn rabbit. It’s inches away from my feet and throwing […]
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Read MoreEdit to add https://www.scarymommy.com/holiday-mental-load-women/ It’s been 23 days since I went under the knife again for the 3rd time in my fuck-you-don’t-call-it-a-journey journey. And yes, I’ve been listening to a lot of the boss lately. As usual surgery floored me. I should have known better than to do it at this time of the year. […]
Read More“You look great!” says my oncologist and pretty much every medical professional I interact with. “Thanks! I’ve been hitting the gym hard” Every one in the room smiles. Exercise is known to reduce risk of re-occurrence. It’s true, I have been hitting the gym hard. What I don’t mention is the fact I didn’t eat […]
Read MoreThe intuitive writing workshop discusses a mantra to begin. The room is filled with English majors. People hoping to publish a novel. Me? I’m just hoping to work through authenticity in my words. He speaks of inner peace, finding it in your spine. Something I would have aligned with in yoga class prior to the […]
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Death to Uncle Joey 