A whole year. A whole year in complete suspension. A year riddled with every level of anxiety imaginable. We covered the city with plywood. We covered the plywood with art. We made joyful noise at 8pm. We felt like part of something. I cried over SAAS acronyms. We ordered take out to support our local […]

It’s a struggle to talk about this – in 2020 it’s a struggle to talk about feeling struggled because the actual police may be en route to being defunded but the woke police are busy issuing tickets and assaulting people for minor infractions. It’s been a very long 3 months. I’ve felt like I’m under […]

I sit outside now. Under attack in hidden courtyards tucked behind fire escapes. This is my social life. On the weekends I’m under the trees of the cascades, blanketed by stars, hope and dirty nails. On the weekdays I’m bound to the kitchen and grounded in stress while deciphering saas acronyms and wearing my old […]

It was the first time I’d seen my daughter in a while. Another good ol fashion Seattle grey and dark. Chance of shitshow, extra stormy. I was sun kissed after a week in Mexico. Feeling pretty damn good despite the memories this time of year that kept bubbling into my conscious. Things that still shape […]

I don’t mean to cause alarm in any of my postings. I’m ok. Just as I always am. It’s like the amazon reviews right? Only dissatisfied customers bother to type out their grievances. If you’re happy with the purchase you carry on. Keep calm and order on prime. Those of us involved in a creative […]

It’s strange how I can never predict myself tomorrow. Remember how cable news used to talk about the city when you were a kid? “good block, bad block?” Now in 2020 it’s like a 7 blocks of good blocks, but the subway doors don’t open properly and you’re now one stop away from remembering how […]

I’ve lived more in the last three years than I ever did in the 40 years prior. I’ve had the rug repeatedly ripped out from under me. All emotional safety nets proved faulty and I’ve been at the bottom of that hole putting myself back together and trying to claw out for longer than feels […]

In late February I sat in Sayulita reading reports on the corona virus. Trying to “relax” -a mindset that is still a foreign concept to me. I was probably cracking a corona and making a joke about how corona virus would be better with a lime. Meanwhile the research focused side of my brain was […]

Edit to add https://www.scarymommy.com/holiday-mental-load-women/ It’s been 23 days since I went under the knife again for the 3rd time in my fuck-you-don’t-call-it-a-journey journey. And yes, I’ve been listening to a lot of the boss lately. As usual surgery floored me. I should have known better than to do it at this time of the year. […]